Jessica Turner hit the nail on the head when she said the we need to make time for us. Each and every one of us needs it most of all moms to young kids. As much as you love them they are exhausting. As a mom, wife and business owner you really need to MAKE this time because day in and day out you won't just have it. Time is a precious thing and I am really starting to value it and look at how I use my time a bit more wisely. I think doing things for me was easy before I had kids because there was no one else to really worry about except my hubby and that was all we did was stuff for us. Then you have kids and suddenly you feel so guilty if you want to do something for yourself for lots of reasons, lack of time, money etc. When I used to go shopping I never felt bad at the register, now I am thinking about things my kids need or want and how the money could pay for that instead. As much as I take pride in the fact that my kids are first in my mind always as it should be as a mother I also would think to myself that keeping myself healthy physically is a blessing to my kids so they have me here to see them grow up but mentally I need to be strong too. Both in my opinion are important for anything in life. Having natural childbirth with no drugs with my son was not only physical strength but mental strength as well. Think of anything challenging you have ever done. You needed to be physically and mentally prepared. That is the part that we miss when we decide to say no to ourselves all the time. I believe in balance and making sure that we fit ourselves into that in a healthy way. Of course I do not mean to blow your kids off and be making things all about you but there is a way that has made it easier for me to start to make this a part of my day to day. It is what I have learned in the book Fringe Hours by Jessica Turner. I was honored to be apart of her launch team and reading this book was so eye opening. It showed me how I did not have to make a huge change in my life but to use those fringe hours to do something for me. Those hours that we often just let get wasted. Even if it is a short amount of time use it and use it wisely! I have started to make some small changes to my day to do this and it has done wonders for how I feel. I look now for opportunities to take advantage of time to do things that are going to boost me inside and make me feel alive again making me a better me, a better mom and a better wife. Here are some of my fringe hours :
1. oil change and check up for the car- Changed my plan to take the kids which would have been super stressful. I don't ask for help often but this time I did ask for help with the kids while I took the car and waited for it to be done. I am so glad I did because it was so great to sit in the waiting room with time to read, reflect and be still. It only took an hour but it was the best hour ever and it refueled me for the rest of the day.
2. Just recently started using my early morning hours when I get up to pump or nurse my son to join in on a 30 day upper body challenge. This is when I do most of my workouts. It feels good to get a little exercise time which is only about 15 min or so but still makes me feel like I already accomplished something that day for me. Being a healthy example is important to me, not only for myself and how I feel but for my kids to see.
3. Going to the gym. My husband would often say to me that when he is home as nice as it is for me to be with him and the kids that I could be taking advantage of that time no matter how long or short to do something I want to do. I never did because of guilt. I always felt guilty if I left and also I do love spending time with him and my kids. They are my favorite people. But he was right and then I realized this is a fringe hour so I should use it. Last night my husband was home and told me to go do something since he is here. I did not have much time before my son would need me to nurse him and put him to sleep but in that hour and a half I quick threw on my gym clothes and got in a workout. I felt so good afterwards! I had to push myself a bit but I am so glad I did it and as I thought my hubby took care of the kids just fine while I was gone. He loves being a daddy and I need to let him do it more one on one without me there. Its true that you can smother those you love. Learn to give some space for everyone involved.
4. Nap time- My kids don't always sleep at the same time and sometimes I may have just a little window of time before I know on will be back up again and what to do with that time? I usually would try to get something done around the house that would of course not get done and then I felt frustrated when they were up and I knew I would not complete that task. I have realized that I need to know how much time I have and pick something that fits into that timeframe to avoid frustration. Little things at a time, one room rather than the whole house. Or just the bathroom rather than the kitchen which took too much time to do. In that time I have chosen to sometimes realize I may only have enough time to sit and have a cup of coffee, unwind a bit. Even if other things need done. Just sit and use it to do something that will refresh me a bit so when the round 2 buzzer starts to go off I am ready to go in the ring.
This time has been so valuable because it has allowed me to look at my day, things that need done and evaluate my time better to see where I can make some changes. Sometimes we are too rushed and we don't take the time to just take it all in and our wheels keep spinning but we get nowhere. It is a work in progress but I feel like I now have a plan and one day at a time I am making more balance in my day.
As time goes on I will share some other ways that I take care of me a bit more. I hope find joy in your fringe hours and if you have not read this book you need to!
Happy Friday the 13th….
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