... time for reflection...

As I continue to dig though the muck of a trying time in my life still unaware of where the journey will end up for me I feel the need to stop, reflect and see how God was there for me and to thank him for those moments.  I think we can sometimes take those times for granted especially in a time of pain, unaware at times how to navigate to the "good" part of the plan that God has for you when it looks at face value as so messed up and ugly.  The unknown part of that journey where you are faced with the reality that you may not arrive at where you set out to get to and if you do not remembering God is still good.  As I look back over this journey I can see where I allowed God to walk with me and where I left him and went on alone. I am brought to tears though as during such a painful time I can now look back and see HIM so present where I asked him to be.  You see people say all the time that you are never alone and for me actually wrapping my mind around that when I felt so alone has been such an amazing experience.  It has allowed me with HIM to recently do things that I never thought I could do.  I did them but not alone, not just me, with HIM.  Weird to me to say that about someone you can not see, I almost feel crazy but when you feel it you will know you are not crazy.  I today thank God for all the ways he was always there for me, guiding me, comforting me and healing me and all I needed to do was open up my heart to receive it.  NOT be perfect, not do the right thing all the time but to give my best, the all I have with a pure heart and just open up to a love that is what allows for amazing things to happen.  So I encourage you today to stop and think about a time in your life that was a storm, maybe you are there now, maybe you just came out on the other end, maybe it was a time ago but you are still healing.  Think of it and look at the ways that God was there.. ask yourself how open you were with having him walk with you.  If you have not yet gotten there in your journey it is never too late to dust yourself off and to keep fighting but maybe this time look beside you and embrace always having that person beside you to lean on in the times of fear and to count on to love you no matter what happens because in the present moments good or bad is when you can see God the most clear sometimes.  So keep on in your fight and heres to getting to heaven dirty, beat up and tired!!  You never stop fighting the good fight..  


Until next time....


Anne  

What I have learned

I am a little late but last week was National Infertility awareness week so in an effort to write something about that since that is a subject close to home for me I thought I would write about what I have learned.. I come across woman all the time that say they are going to start a family and for some it happens really fast and for some it won't.  For those that it does not if you were to ask me for any advise it would be this..

1. For the horrible 2 week wait..  wrap your mind around the fact that there is nothing you can do or not do that will make this happen.  It either will or won't and in my experience all my ways to try to de stress only stressed me and my body (without even knowing it) out even more.  Just go about your day and do your normal routine obviously within reason but all the "do this" and "dont do this" that is running through your head.. get rid of it!!  Your body will be much happier if you just go about your day not obsessing about something you can do nothing about.

2.  As much as I love the Baby center and other types of websites where a community is available for you try not to spend too much time.. or  obsess on these sites.  Remember first and foremost that your story is YOURS and no ones eles and the getting caught up in comparing ourselves to these other woman can cause stress again where it is not needed to be.  Also limit yourself on the amount of research time you do because again too much time learning certain things is harmful in my opinion.  You want to be your own advocate so research and knowledge is a good thing but again... in moderation.

3.  As much as the process is so hard and painful at times be careful how many days you allow it to take away from you.  God is good no matter what and you are allowed to be  happy even though it is not happening right now.  Have faith and hold on but not too tight that you are loosing out on what you have now for what you are trying to have when the time is right.

I continue to pray each day for each and every one of you that have to go through the pain of infertility and together we can be each others light that continues to shine bright!

Until next time...

Anne