Simple tips to rebuild your day. Finding bliss in being a business owner and mom...

Something I have realized is that with little ones at home you have to manage your time differently than you normally structure your day.  I find that in locating my fringe hours for me has also opened up my eyes to the little blocks of time I have to do other things as well.  I am finding I am actually getting more done, adding in time for me and feeling so good!  What I did was identify what is most important and looked at how much time and priority I give each task and in this found that I am not doing enough proactive actives rather than counterproductive ones.  I found myself each day picking up after Haley, cleaning up the toys and finding myself so frustrated because it never stayed clean.  news flash, I live with a toddler and a newborn.  So I looked at the most important things and why are they not getting done.  I was not making them priority or breaking them down to make them more simple.  It really is that easy.  I had to realize that I can not do it all.  In trying to do it all and setting unrealistic goals I was setting myself up for failure.  I had to refocus and set new standards for my day.  I think that naturally you have to do it wrong to figure out how to do it right or at least better. Making the most out of my time means more time with my kids which each day takes up the biggest part of my day and is the main priority that I have but in better use of time I find that I am not doing more but I am being more with using my hours more wisely.  Here are some simple tips to making your days at home with your littles a bit easier…  ( and a side note, having a super amazing husband who helps and does grocery shopping for you is a huge help!)

1.  Make a list and note goals.  Business, Household, Personal and family.  

2.  Makes columns for proactive and counterproductive and how doing that task will be a negative or positive use of your time.  Which ones are causes of stress because of them not getting enough time in your day, how can you make doing them easier.  

3.   Narrow down to make a list of 3 to 5 things each day depending on how big they are.  Set realistic goals on time.  Do smaller chunks of times with smaller projects.  Instead of the whole downstairs do just one room instead.  Break up your tasks into smaller segments to make it easier to get done little bits throughout the day.  

4.  Each day work on implementing a solution to making your daily tasks easier for you like I did with my kitchen and not using my dishwasher or the organization that has helped me keep on top of quick clean up.  Remember this does not mean that you house is clean every day but it makes it easier.  I have to remind myself of that.  Usually laundry and my kitchen are the 2 main things I focus on each day.  Those I try to make sure not to let get too out of hand and I try to each day while in the kids rooms tidy up a bit before leaving.  

5. Have a plan for the day.  Keep your dreams and goals in the forefront of your mind.  I created a dream board in Pinterest that helps me keep all the thoughts that run through my head or get discuss between my husband and I about our business.  That way I can go back and reference in order to move forward with making some of those a reality.  

6. Use tools, technology and apps to help you.  I found my phone has been such a help, I use siri a lot to make notes and reminders throughout the day to remind me of stuff that I will usually forget.  There are so many apps out there that can make tasks easier.  I remember when I was tracking all my food intake while pregnant with Haley. At first it was a daunting task but after finding the My fitness Pal app it was so simple for me to go in and add my diet and it kept it all organized for me.  I also just learned of the Passion Planner that helps you create a planner that dives into your passions and helps direct your path a bit more on paper.  

Just remember to know your limitations and embrace them.  Most days that I feel defeated I look back and realize I did it to myself.  Remember balance is key and don't forget that making those blocks of time for you are so very important.  In knowing your limitations you want to remember to allow room to challenge yourself and know that each day you are getting yourself that much closer to the place you want to be.  A happy, healthy version of you.  You deserve the life you dream of so go out and chase down that dream… make it a reality.  

Seamless bible study coming soon, by Angie Smith...

For me my faith walk has been a ever changing journey. I did not grow up going to church and my relationship with God has been an on and off journey but as I came through one of the most difficult times in my life I was amazed at how my relationship grew with God and my faith was renewed. I still have a lot of issues with church and with the bible pushers out there. I think my issues I have identified as more with my interactions with christians who may not have had bad intentions but ended up leaving a really bad taste in my mouth. For the first time I am feeling like I need to learn more about the bible because as a mother I now feel that when my kids ask me questions I want to have answers. I do not mean to be pushing this in anyones face as I am sharing. I am sharing for those that may have a need or a desire to explore more about what the bible has to offer in a way that it will hopefully be easier to understand from the heart of a woman that I have been following for years. As I shared she helped me through some dark times by just being willing to share her heart so I am happy to share this opportunity with all of you. I hope it can bring to you some hope if you need it, some light if your seeing more dark these days or just a fun way to learn and share more about the bible.... ‪#‎seamlessbiblestudy‬

See video below to learn more about the study and the author, Angie Smith.

Identifying daily stresses and how to overcome them / Step one: My kitchen and saying goodbye to my dishwasher

In an effort to continue to implement taking time for those fringe hours in my day I am brought back to my problem of feeling so stressed out while taking time for me.  I think taking time for ourselves is great but it also can not come at the expense of those we love and we can not forget that as a parent we do not get to say no to our kids because they need us and the parent thing never gets turned off.  At least for me I need to find a way to allow that time but to make my daily grind flow better so that I feel like when those fringe hours come along I am not saying no to some of the things that are most important to continue to maintain and that should be done most days so that "me" time can happen.  Its more my way of eliminating the guilt that comes with taking time for me.  You see if we identify where the guilt comes from and find a way to move past that then our "me" time is or at least should be less filled with guilt and more filled with joy. So in doing this I pinpointed one place that was a problem and looked to find a solution to this stress and Its amazing how making small changes can make such a big difference.  In my journey to find ways to change up my day to make the things that were a stress to me better I realized that my kitchen was a BIG place of stress.   First off its not my most favorite room in the house with its layout and decor.  We have added some updates and did a facelift since buying our house but a complete makeover is really what would make me love this room.  Before I had my kids I was not in this room near as much as I am now.   With being in this room so much I find that it is the room that is always messy.  Dishes everywhere and no room on countertops etc.  I don't know how but no matter how much I would clean this room it was always a place of stress and it was ALWAYS a mess.  Every night after the kids went to bed this would be the room that I just did not even want to look at.  I would ignore it and then each morning I felt so frustrated with having a messy kitchen to start the day.  I would not have what I needed to get things ready for my haley or myself.  Dustin was struggling to find what he would need and the search for spoons was always the adventure of the day.  This room just put me in a bad mood.  Over the past weekend Dustin helped me get caught up with house work.  We worked really hard together to get each room cleaned, wash done and tackled it while helping each other with the kids.  We had fun and with each room we tackled a weight was lifted.  With efforts to keep up with the room Dustin stopped using the dishwasher and was hand washing smaller amounts and putting them away as they dried. When I went to load the dishwasher Monday morning he said that he had just been hand washing and it seemed to be better.  I let this digest and had a light bulb moment.  Could not using the dishwasher fix my issue with the kitchen?  So this week I have been dedicated to hand washing all our dishes.  I do small cleanups throughout the day and maintain it as the day goes on.  As things are dry I put them away.  I have to say this small change has made for a huge difference.  I am finding that each night I sit down feeling so much happier knowing that my kitchen is clean.  Every night this week it has been that way and that is a HUGE difference from most nights its a mess and stays that way for days.  Bottles are washed and ready for me to use, since its smaller batches of dishes its easier for me to quickly just wash and put away and takes me less time.  Since I am doing the smaller batches throughout the day when it comes to dinner cleanup I am able to get that done so much quicker after the kids are asleep and I do not feel overwhelmed by a whole days worth of mess to clean up or a whole big dishwasher full of dishes to have to put away before even being able to clean up.  It seems so weird to me that this could really be helping but it is.   I am still excited for the day that we can do a full makeover of the kitchen to make this space more user friendly for our family but for now I am happy to have a system that for me seems to be working better and making for better mornings where the only thing I have to search for is my coffee cup to get my coffee, my counters are clean and all is right with the world or at least it is in my kitchen….. Heres to small changes, new systems and less stressful days.  Be more, not do more.  Simplification at its finest one step at a time…

Simplify your life one step at a time…Being more, not doing more...

With the introduction of a new year and having my son not long before that I was challenged to look at my time differently now having these 2 very little ones that always need something.  Being a wife and business owner and also me.  Where did I go in the process of becoming a mom?  As some people know the road to motherhood was not an easy one for me.  After years of struggling with unexplained infertility and not getting pregnant we finally got pregnant with my daughter.  I had prayed so hard to have this child and believe me when I say I know the blessing it is to have a child after all I went through to have one.  With this comes extra guilt as a mother than just the average mother.  The aftermath of infertility is hard.  You think when you break through and you finally overcome your battle it will just be all behind you but with anything we struggle with it can leave scars.  It has an after math that at first I did not even understand myself.  Every time I did not have her in my arms I felt so much anxiety.  Anxiety was something I struggled with big time and at first when I was having a panic attack I did not even know it.  I felt so overwhelmed and those who have struggled with these you know just how awful they feel.  It is so hard to get a grip and for someone who most of the time prides herself on having her emotions in check this was so foreign for me.  The other thing that I struggled with was having someone to help me.  I did not feel like anyone would understand and honestly I did not even know how to bring up the conversation.  I think for me it was just that after finally having this precious person that I prayed so hard for I just did not want to mess anything up.  I needed to do everything right, I needed her with me at all times and whenever I was away from her I would come unglued.  Then when we got pregnant with my son as my pregnancy went on I needed to learn how to let go a bit.  I had to be away from Haley for appts, I had to ask for help from time to time because of my ever-growing belly and the closer I got the slower I got.  I remember having the hardest time when I thought about having Lucas.  How could I leave her?  I would cry and cry.  And you know what…. it all worked out.  I have had to leave Lucas before I was ready for activities with Haley and honestly having Lucas was such a blessing in helping me learn to let go.  Learn to ask for help a little more, let others be involved in my kids lives as well and to learn that the guilt I felt while doing that was a lie put in my head that I needed no longer believe.  I am learning the value of taking time for me now.  I am learning that in letting go a bit I am allowing myself some balance to continue to grow in who I am.  I am challenged to be still and reflect.  With this said, it is hard to make time for yourself when you are a busy person.  After the past couple months of just barely getting by each day with a newborn and not getting any sleep I was really challenged on how to make me time possible.  Just for the simple task of getting a shower.  It sounds like stay at home moms have all the time in the world but now that I am one I am finding that is not the case.  I think though no matter what your situation is, stay at home mom, working mom etc we all have our challenges to embrace.  Not one is better than the other.  I have really been challenged to find a way to make my time matter a bit more.  As I sat down and looked at my goals with the new year I noticed that I did like to fit myself in to them.  It made me feel bad.  I would tell myself I had plenty of time for that before, how can I want that now?  I felt selfish.  But as I let each day go by not feeding that burning to feel like I could be doing more it leaves me feeling so defeated at the end of the day.  The Fringe Hours book like many books that come into my life could not have come at a better time.  It is amazing how without even knowing what I need it just shows up in my life. I believe that is God, it can't just be chance, not as many times as it happens to me.  I am glad that I felt the urge to sit down and reflect, to be still enough to see this opportunity right in front of me.  So as I read her book and looked at my goals and each day looked at my day I realized that I needed to do more in my day to make it easier to accomplish my house,kid and business goals so that when I have my "me" time I am not stressed about it.  I noticed that when I did finally break and took the time when I was so badly in need it was with tears and frustration and mostly happened after a fight because I just took on too much, did not organize enough or plan things out enough and I did it to myself.  I looked at how my me time was then not relaxed and I did not really enjoy it.  I felt like I took it because I could not handle being a mom, I was a failure.  I felt defeated.  I had to find a way to have balance in my day to day so that I was a bigger part of the pie and that my me time would not be because I broke down but because I see value in setting aside time for myself to make me be more for me, my kids and my husband.  I will be a happier version on myself.  Then I felt bad because when I look at my life how could I be unhappy?  Seriously. I have a great life.  so there I go back down the rabbit hole called guilt. I had to just remind myself that it was ok to feel the way I did but that I needed to find a way so that I did not continue to feel that way anymore.  The answer always comes back to me.  I did this to myself. Because I go each day saying no to me.  I erase the Anne part of my day and put something else in there.  This was getting me no where.  With all of this said.  I sat down and was honest about my day.  What is a frustration. What is not working.  How can I fix this.  And each day I tried to do something different.  Change can be scary and it can be hard but it can also be so refreshing too.  I was ready for change.  I have already posted a few of my changes around the house ( fun bags in fun basket, using ottoman as craft place for easy use and  my get ready bag hidden behind my coats) on instagram so pop over there and check them out if you care to ( @annesch).  I will be posting some more little changes that I am making along the way that have been proving to make my day a bit easier, fun filled and at the end of it I feel victorious and ready to take on my time slots with my head held high knowing that It is not about excepting a life that you are unhappy with , it is about making a few simply changes to make the life you dream of possible..