blasphemer

You would be very ashamed if you knew what the experiences you call setbacks, upheavals, pointless disturbances, and tedious annoyances really are. You would realize that your complaints about them are nothing more nor less than blasphemies-though that never occurs to you. Nothing happens to you except by the will of God, and yet [God's] beloved children curse it because they do not know it for what it is..

~Ann V (one thousand gifts)

This is so hard for me right now.. How do I do this with my fight and struggle with infertility? But isn't this what everyone going through pain and suffering would ask? With so much pain, so many loosing battles, fighting battles and with such brokenness in this world how do we truly do this? This for me is where TRUE faith steps in. The faith to hold onto this truth that we do not know and that God is good and that nothing happens without a reason and a purpose. But we need to remember that is up to us though. To not let go, to take the circumstance no matter what it is and allow the light to shine through it. But gosh this is so hard! But as I am challenged to be thankful, to each day count my blessing even in the small things like my warm coffee.. by writing it down it has really been helping me. The book one thousand gifts has really been opening my eyes. The blessing of community has been huge for me because some days all you have is for someone to understand and just help you walk it out. There are woman that I do not even know or never have met that have impacted me beyond belief and I thank them for being open and not being silent or ashamed. I challenge myself to do this each day so that in the end it is not for nothing at my choosing and remembering that my job is to continue to let the light shine while remembering that God is good and I just need to be strong enough to walk it out.. Some days though I will be honest I lay down. I grow so tired. But I thank God today for those who drag me, give me that piggy back in life that I need. Remember today if you are struggling.. one day at a time. Everything is going to be ok. Stop.. breath and try to find something good.. Something that will allow you to hold on just one more day. xoxo