Holding on....

So as I go through this journey I knew I was going to have to fight but now my fight is becoming harder. After getting good news with each day at the doctors. Blood work and ultrasound I get a sudden jolt to my ride, My doctor called yesterday and told me that I have ovulated naturally on my own early in my cycle and that we can not move forward with the IUI. She said that we still have a chance ( which is now decreased) of getting pregnant but that we had to move quick as I already ovulated through the night or early in the morning. As the words came out of her mouth I felt so weak. Like someone just took every breath from my body. I could not believe it but to be honest my inner voice had already told me this. I feel like God spoke to me the day before. Although we were in Hershey that day I kept telling Dustin that I feel like I am going to ovulate and that something is going to go wrong. So I guess in a way I was a bit prepared so for that I am thankful to God for that warning. I was reminded by a friend that it is good that I am hearing from him and to just keep moving forward and stay close to him and my faith which to be honest is so hard. My faith has never been so tested and I have a hard time not being angry at God. Not yelling at him, not demanding answers. But yesterday as I got the news I felt him holding me up as my legs felt like they were going to give out. I felt him holding me and telling me that he loves me, that everything is going to be ok. I am so blessed with such an amazing husband who is been so great through all of this, such wonderful friends and family that support us and I just feel like I can not let this get me down. It is not what I wanted and it hurts more than I can express, I am so scared I can not even sometimes breath but I have to realize that we deserve this and we need to keep fighting for what we want and I believe in my heart God wants us to have. So I am brushing myself off and moving on holding onto hope that it will still work for us. If not we will get another plan in place with the doc and after waiting one cycle to let my body get back to normal from the shots continue on. Thank you for your prayers... They are much needed and we feel them...

Continuing with faith to turn the pages of this chapter in our life.....