What if this is it?

I was recently faced with the question of what if this is it? Would I be ok with that. I have been faced with the realization that the past 4 years may have changed me forever. Never to be the same. In the blink of an eye my world has been turned up side down. I look at myself and I do not see me anymore. The truth of the matter is I have to find myself, the strong warrior that my husband reminded me that I am. What if you find yourself fighting a battle you don't think you can win? For the first time I have experienced that. The girl once filled with piss and vinegar has found herself so afraid, fearful and tired.

So today I am realizing that I am ok with it if this is it. I have to be. I have an amazing life, with amazing people right by my side. I am healthy and I should be happy. My colors need to be bright and no longer faded. This does not take away the fact that I yearn for more and that I am willing to do what I need to but in the meantime, I am going to be happy, free of fear, embrace those who love me and care about me. As I get older I realize that I have spent most of my life living in the past or the future. Its time to live in the present, just for today, one step at a time holding on to the dream that may come true one day......