Love and hurt

As I dive into chapter 3 of The fitting room I am brought to a sentence that really speaks to something I am going through right now.  It is something Dallas Willard preaches: that loving others is about giving them that which is for their good, not necessarily what they desire.  This is hard to do but is at the core of defining a true friendship or relationship.  I find this hard to do not only in my marriage as a wife but as a sister, daughter and a friend.  We want so badly to give everyone what they want all the time but when we realize that it is not healthy for them or ourselves, that it may be the very thing that drives a wedge between you  and doing the right thing can be hard to do for them, whatever it may be.  It most times may make them hurt or angry, leave them not understanding.  Trying to do it in a loving way is key but sometimes when things become so messy by allowing yourself to get so off course in the first place getting yourself back on track may mean making a very bold, harsh decision that can leave them feeling very unloved by you.  That is when you need to know your heart.  Be very honest and know why you are doing what you are doing.  Pray that if you really feel that there is something you are suppose to do that is weighing heavy on your heart but may mean you loose popularity or cool points but that is what is best for everyone, you find the strength to do it.  I encourage you to take the steps you feel you need to take, find the most loving way to do it and know that if you do the best you can that God knows your heart.  He loves you and you can give it to him and let things be what they need to be.  God does not want for us to be unhealthy, he wants us to love each other but not at the expense of having things built on the wrong foundation rather he wants it to be on the right, strong foundation and that sometimes things need to completely crumble before they can be rebuilt.  We find that so often too in our lives.  That is why I find such beauty in the dark times because that is when the most transformation can be made, in ourselves, our character and in those around us.  Being the light does not always mean making everyone happy all the time.  It means doing hard things sometimes for the sake of those we love.  Praying that if you are in a situation right now that you find peace and the answers you need from God to help guide you along your way while not forgetting that change never happens without action.  : )