I am alive

So yes I am alive.. Not feeling too much lately as I have allowed myself to creep back into the numb stage but feeling like it is time for me to start blogging again... No further ahead yet in our journey of becoming parents but I am starting to feel the strength to start to fight again. In this journey I have realized that people will say things to you that you can not allow to seep into your brain.. they don't mean to but I think sometimes people just don't know what to say and they find themselves subconsciously telling us lies. The one that has stopped me most recently is " well maybe it is just not God's plan for you". Really? Why? Why would anyone say that? They mean it to be kind but here's the truth... its not! So please if you are in the path of someone hurting do not say this to them. It is a lie and it is one that I found myself believing. What I have come to realize is that it is God's plan... but not mine. My plan is the perfect story of a married couples love bringing a child into this world with no complications.. it just happens and they live happily ever after.. but God's plan is good even though at times I see it as bad.. it is written with a different pen and I need to be willing to walk it out.. You see God wants for you to have what your heart desires but we all have a plan or a calling and being willing to walk it out with him through the heartache is part of the plan. I can not tell you why some of our stories look like they do.. I can not tell you not to be mad because I have been but I can tell you that if you focus on the truth you will be fine. You see when you tell someone that it is not gods plan for them you are only hurting them. Making them believe they should just give up. God does not want for us to have a wimpy attitude towards life. To just throw in the towel. So why do I find so many people especially christians telling people this? I can not tell you what your plan is and I don't think anyone can tell you that something is not Gods plan for you. So if you are like me, feeling that burning not going away then stand up and realize something.. You can get where your going.. just keep moving and fighting and do it with a willing attitude to not know what the plan is but that you are willing to keep walking it out one step at a time... Together lets have faith that we will get there... If a door is open you just need to find the faith to walk through it for hope that you may just find a miracle on the other side...