What if plan B is better than plan A?

So for a long time I have been struggling with being at a place where I never imagined I would be. You know your whole life you imagine how things will be and you have it all planned out and then boom. Life hits and you realize things are not happening as you wanted them to and no matter how you try to control the situation it does not seem to change. Sometimes this lasts a short time or maybe it lasts a while. For me letting it go has been a big challenge and I have realized that I have been holding onto it for far too long. I have yelled at God, let him know just how mad I am and nothing. The feeling like God walked away has been so painful. Why God, Why dont you hear me? I would cry out and I was allowing myself to believe the illusion that God is only there when we can see him. You see he is always there. I have asked for answers and I so loudly today heard him speak to me. So gentle and clear. My plan is better. He allowed with this for my mind to go back to the way I had pictured my life as an adult when I was a child. How it would look and he then allowed my mind to entertain the life I live now. And you know what. The picture he has painted is so much better! I never thought my life would look like it does now. Not in a million years. That a man as wonderful as my husband would love me and want me. The girl from the other side of the tracks who was nothing like him. The train wreck as I like to describe myself. The sassy little blonde who lived to go out dancing which was the only place she ever felt free. I look back over our 15 years together and I am amazed at the wonderful life we have created and how we can so often take those things for granted. You see right now I have to trust that Gods plan is better. That he knows what is best. Even on the days when I am saying well yeah God but my plan looks pretty darn good too. I can only imagine how I drive God crazy and how I hurt him with my words and distrust and I am in aww of the fact that he still loves me anyway. That he always knows my heart. I am thankful for his answer today and for allowing some clarity while I remember that clarity is not really what I need, all I need is faith and to trust in him....