Simple tips to rebuild your day. Finding bliss in being a business owner and mom...

Something I have realized is that with little ones at home you have to manage your time differently than you normally structure your day.  I find that in locating my fringe hours for me has also opened up my eyes to the little blocks of time I have to do other things as well.  I am finding I am actually getting more done, adding in time for me and feeling so good!  What I did was identify what is most important and looked at how much time and priority I give each task and in this found that I am not doing enough proactive actives rather than counterproductive ones.  I found myself each day picking up after Haley, cleaning up the toys and finding myself so frustrated because it never stayed clean.  news flash, I live with a toddler and a newborn.  So I looked at the most important things and why are they not getting done.  I was not making them priority or breaking them down to make them more simple.  It really is that easy.  I had to realize that I can not do it all.  In trying to do it all and setting unrealistic goals I was setting myself up for failure.  I had to refocus and set new standards for my day.  I think that naturally you have to do it wrong to figure out how to do it right or at least better. Making the most out of my time means more time with my kids which each day takes up the biggest part of my day and is the main priority that I have but in better use of time I find that I am not doing more but I am being more with using my hours more wisely.  Here are some simple tips to making your days at home with your littles a bit easier…  ( and a side note, having a super amazing husband who helps and does grocery shopping for you is a huge help!)

1.  Make a list and note goals.  Business, Household, Personal and family.  

2.  Makes columns for proactive and counterproductive and how doing that task will be a negative or positive use of your time.  Which ones are causes of stress because of them not getting enough time in your day, how can you make doing them easier.  

3.   Narrow down to make a list of 3 to 5 things each day depending on how big they are.  Set realistic goals on time.  Do smaller chunks of times with smaller projects.  Instead of the whole downstairs do just one room instead.  Break up your tasks into smaller segments to make it easier to get done little bits throughout the day.  

4.  Each day work on implementing a solution to making your daily tasks easier for you like I did with my kitchen and not using my dishwasher or the organization that has helped me keep on top of quick clean up.  Remember this does not mean that you house is clean every day but it makes it easier.  I have to remind myself of that.  Usually laundry and my kitchen are the 2 main things I focus on each day.  Those I try to make sure not to let get too out of hand and I try to each day while in the kids rooms tidy up a bit before leaving.  

5. Have a plan for the day.  Keep your dreams and goals in the forefront of your mind.  I created a dream board in Pinterest that helps me keep all the thoughts that run through my head or get discuss between my husband and I about our business.  That way I can go back and reference in order to move forward with making some of those a reality.  

6. Use tools, technology and apps to help you.  I found my phone has been such a help, I use siri a lot to make notes and reminders throughout the day to remind me of stuff that I will usually forget.  There are so many apps out there that can make tasks easier.  I remember when I was tracking all my food intake while pregnant with Haley. At first it was a daunting task but after finding the My fitness Pal app it was so simple for me to go in and add my diet and it kept it all organized for me.  I also just learned of the Passion Planner that helps you create a planner that dives into your passions and helps direct your path a bit more on paper.  

Just remember to know your limitations and embrace them.  Most days that I feel defeated I look back and realize I did it to myself.  Remember balance is key and don't forget that making those blocks of time for you are so very important.  In knowing your limitations you want to remember to allow room to challenge yourself and know that each day you are getting yourself that much closer to the place you want to be.  A happy, healthy version of you.  You deserve the life you dream of so go out and chase down that dream… make it a reality.  

Seamless bible study coming soon, by Angie Smith...

For me my faith walk has been a ever changing journey. I did not grow up going to church and my relationship with God has been an on and off journey but as I came through one of the most difficult times in my life I was amazed at how my relationship grew with God and my faith was renewed. I still have a lot of issues with church and with the bible pushers out there. I think my issues I have identified as more with my interactions with christians who may not have had bad intentions but ended up leaving a really bad taste in my mouth. For the first time I am feeling like I need to learn more about the bible because as a mother I now feel that when my kids ask me questions I want to have answers. I do not mean to be pushing this in anyones face as I am sharing. I am sharing for those that may have a need or a desire to explore more about what the bible has to offer in a way that it will hopefully be easier to understand from the heart of a woman that I have been following for years. As I shared she helped me through some dark times by just being willing to share her heart so I am happy to share this opportunity with all of you. I hope it can bring to you some hope if you need it, some light if your seeing more dark these days or just a fun way to learn and share more about the bible.... ‪#‎seamlessbiblestudy‬

See video below to learn more about the study and the author, Angie Smith.

Identifying daily stresses and how to overcome them / Step one: My kitchen and saying goodbye to my dishwasher

In an effort to continue to implement taking time for those fringe hours in my day I am brought back to my problem of feeling so stressed out while taking time for me.  I think taking time for ourselves is great but it also can not come at the expense of those we love and we can not forget that as a parent we do not get to say no to our kids because they need us and the parent thing never gets turned off.  At least for me I need to find a way to allow that time but to make my daily grind flow better so that I feel like when those fringe hours come along I am not saying no to some of the things that are most important to continue to maintain and that should be done most days so that "me" time can happen.  Its more my way of eliminating the guilt that comes with taking time for me.  You see if we identify where the guilt comes from and find a way to move past that then our "me" time is or at least should be less filled with guilt and more filled with joy. So in doing this I pinpointed one place that was a problem and looked to find a solution to this stress and Its amazing how making small changes can make such a big difference.  In my journey to find ways to change up my day to make the things that were a stress to me better I realized that my kitchen was a BIG place of stress.   First off its not my most favorite room in the house with its layout and decor.  We have added some updates and did a facelift since buying our house but a complete makeover is really what would make me love this room.  Before I had my kids I was not in this room near as much as I am now.   With being in this room so much I find that it is the room that is always messy.  Dishes everywhere and no room on countertops etc.  I don't know how but no matter how much I would clean this room it was always a place of stress and it was ALWAYS a mess.  Every night after the kids went to bed this would be the room that I just did not even want to look at.  I would ignore it and then each morning I felt so frustrated with having a messy kitchen to start the day.  I would not have what I needed to get things ready for my haley or myself.  Dustin was struggling to find what he would need and the search for spoons was always the adventure of the day.  This room just put me in a bad mood.  Over the past weekend Dustin helped me get caught up with house work.  We worked really hard together to get each room cleaned, wash done and tackled it while helping each other with the kids.  We had fun and with each room we tackled a weight was lifted.  With efforts to keep up with the room Dustin stopped using the dishwasher and was hand washing smaller amounts and putting them away as they dried. When I went to load the dishwasher Monday morning he said that he had just been hand washing and it seemed to be better.  I let this digest and had a light bulb moment.  Could not using the dishwasher fix my issue with the kitchen?  So this week I have been dedicated to hand washing all our dishes.  I do small cleanups throughout the day and maintain it as the day goes on.  As things are dry I put them away.  I have to say this small change has made for a huge difference.  I am finding that each night I sit down feeling so much happier knowing that my kitchen is clean.  Every night this week it has been that way and that is a HUGE difference from most nights its a mess and stays that way for days.  Bottles are washed and ready for me to use, since its smaller batches of dishes its easier for me to quickly just wash and put away and takes me less time.  Since I am doing the smaller batches throughout the day when it comes to dinner cleanup I am able to get that done so much quicker after the kids are asleep and I do not feel overwhelmed by a whole days worth of mess to clean up or a whole big dishwasher full of dishes to have to put away before even being able to clean up.  It seems so weird to me that this could really be helping but it is.   I am still excited for the day that we can do a full makeover of the kitchen to make this space more user friendly for our family but for now I am happy to have a system that for me seems to be working better and making for better mornings where the only thing I have to search for is my coffee cup to get my coffee, my counters are clean and all is right with the world or at least it is in my kitchen….. Heres to small changes, new systems and less stressful days.  Be more, not do more.  Simplification at its finest one step at a time…

Simplify your life one step at a time…Being more, not doing more...

With the introduction of a new year and having my son not long before that I was challenged to look at my time differently now having these 2 very little ones that always need something.  Being a wife and business owner and also me.  Where did I go in the process of becoming a mom?  As some people know the road to motherhood was not an easy one for me.  After years of struggling with unexplained infertility and not getting pregnant we finally got pregnant with my daughter.  I had prayed so hard to have this child and believe me when I say I know the blessing it is to have a child after all I went through to have one.  With this comes extra guilt as a mother than just the average mother.  The aftermath of infertility is hard.  You think when you break through and you finally overcome your battle it will just be all behind you but with anything we struggle with it can leave scars.  It has an after math that at first I did not even understand myself.  Every time I did not have her in my arms I felt so much anxiety.  Anxiety was something I struggled with big time and at first when I was having a panic attack I did not even know it.  I felt so overwhelmed and those who have struggled with these you know just how awful they feel.  It is so hard to get a grip and for someone who most of the time prides herself on having her emotions in check this was so foreign for me.  The other thing that I struggled with was having someone to help me.  I did not feel like anyone would understand and honestly I did not even know how to bring up the conversation.  I think for me it was just that after finally having this precious person that I prayed so hard for I just did not want to mess anything up.  I needed to do everything right, I needed her with me at all times and whenever I was away from her I would come unglued.  Then when we got pregnant with my son as my pregnancy went on I needed to learn how to let go a bit.  I had to be away from Haley for appts, I had to ask for help from time to time because of my ever-growing belly and the closer I got the slower I got.  I remember having the hardest time when I thought about having Lucas.  How could I leave her?  I would cry and cry.  And you know what…. it all worked out.  I have had to leave Lucas before I was ready for activities with Haley and honestly having Lucas was such a blessing in helping me learn to let go.  Learn to ask for help a little more, let others be involved in my kids lives as well and to learn that the guilt I felt while doing that was a lie put in my head that I needed no longer believe.  I am learning the value of taking time for me now.  I am learning that in letting go a bit I am allowing myself some balance to continue to grow in who I am.  I am challenged to be still and reflect.  With this said, it is hard to make time for yourself when you are a busy person.  After the past couple months of just barely getting by each day with a newborn and not getting any sleep I was really challenged on how to make me time possible.  Just for the simple task of getting a shower.  It sounds like stay at home moms have all the time in the world but now that I am one I am finding that is not the case.  I think though no matter what your situation is, stay at home mom, working mom etc we all have our challenges to embrace.  Not one is better than the other.  I have really been challenged to find a way to make my time matter a bit more.  As I sat down and looked at my goals with the new year I noticed that I did like to fit myself in to them.  It made me feel bad.  I would tell myself I had plenty of time for that before, how can I want that now?  I felt selfish.  But as I let each day go by not feeding that burning to feel like I could be doing more it leaves me feeling so defeated at the end of the day.  The Fringe Hours book like many books that come into my life could not have come at a better time.  It is amazing how without even knowing what I need it just shows up in my life. I believe that is God, it can't just be chance, not as many times as it happens to me.  I am glad that I felt the urge to sit down and reflect, to be still enough to see this opportunity right in front of me.  So as I read her book and looked at my goals and each day looked at my day I realized that I needed to do more in my day to make it easier to accomplish my house,kid and business goals so that when I have my "me" time I am not stressed about it.  I noticed that when I did finally break and took the time when I was so badly in need it was with tears and frustration and mostly happened after a fight because I just took on too much, did not organize enough or plan things out enough and I did it to myself.  I looked at how my me time was then not relaxed and I did not really enjoy it.  I felt like I took it because I could not handle being a mom, I was a failure.  I felt defeated.  I had to find a way to have balance in my day to day so that I was a bigger part of the pie and that my me time would not be because I broke down but because I see value in setting aside time for myself to make me be more for me, my kids and my husband.  I will be a happier version on myself.  Then I felt bad because when I look at my life how could I be unhappy?  Seriously. I have a great life.  so there I go back down the rabbit hole called guilt. I had to just remind myself that it was ok to feel the way I did but that I needed to find a way so that I did not continue to feel that way anymore.  The answer always comes back to me.  I did this to myself. Because I go each day saying no to me.  I erase the Anne part of my day and put something else in there.  This was getting me no where.  With all of this said.  I sat down and was honest about my day.  What is a frustration. What is not working.  How can I fix this.  And each day I tried to do something different.  Change can be scary and it can be hard but it can also be so refreshing too.  I was ready for change.  I have already posted a few of my changes around the house ( fun bags in fun basket, using ottoman as craft place for easy use and  my get ready bag hidden behind my coats) on instagram so pop over there and check them out if you care to ( @annesch).  I will be posting some more little changes that I am making along the way that have been proving to make my day a bit easier, fun filled and at the end of it I feel victorious and ready to take on my time slots with my head held high knowing that It is not about excepting a life that you are unhappy with , it is about making a few simply changes to make the life you dream of possible..

A journey to discovering forgiveness. When motherhood is not always roses and sunshine...

Yesterday was a hard day.  I thought being a mom was rough and then I had my son.  Now my days are what I would best describe as intense.  I am learning to mange my days better with these two little ones which is intense but the most intense part is my love for them, my feelings of emotions that take over me that I usually would not struggle with.  The feeling of defeat is a hard one when these tough days hit us hard.  It happens before we know it, we are not feeling our 100%, tired and the day turns to frustration, you can't get ahead.  All the housework, the day to day things that need to get done on top of feeling like both your children need you and you are only one person.  The pain of seeing your one child sick and the other that is testing your patients and words of discipline and rocking you to the core. You follow through with that disciple and now you are in tears.  Sometimes the tears flow and it just hurts.  Not because you don't love your kids or you wish your life was different but because you love them too much.  I never understood how this could be until I had kids.  The feelings of love you feel for them is overwhelming.  Your emotions are a mess, all over the place.  The mother who breastfed her first for 14 months is now the mom having to give formula.  The feeling of not being able to give my child what he needs. Why is is not working?  The mother who feels like her house is always a mess. The mother who hopes that her daughter does not hate her because she had to be tough on her about her attitude that day.  The tears in her eyes, I created them.  Cuts me like a knife.  This thing called parenthood is real, so real it hurts.   Trying to maintain being a good mom, and then being a good wife. I feel most days I am not what my husbands needs me to be.  Its a juggling act.  Yesterday I cried.  I yelled, I got upset, I ruined a perfectly good batch of homemade applesauce and the list goes on.  But at the end of the day I sat with my son holding him after he fell asleep for the night.  I did not want to let go.  I wanted that moment to never end.  In that moment I asked for forgiveness.  For being not the greatest that day and as I sat there I had a moment where I felt like what I needed most was to forgive myself.  Gosh is this hard.  We are so hard on ourselves moms, really hard.  I know that I am.  As I cried talking to my husband about how I felt he was not understanding why I felt the way I did.  He didn't see anything being my fault.  At first I got mad at him.  Why does he not understand!  but then I realized that he is right.  My kids and my husband don't see me as I do.  I am so hard on myself.  So as I walked out of that room I felt thankful. Thankful for that moment to remember that in forgiving myself I now felt thankful rather than defeated.  I went to bed knowing that my kids are lucky to have a mom who puts her whole heart into loving them.  I don't always get it right and I will continue to have bad days but I will never give up.  So heres to continuing to fight the good fight!  Be kind to yourself, take time for yourself and most of all FORGIVE yourself.  Take a moment and breath.  

Feed my soul

Jessica Turner hit the nail on the head when she said the we need to make time for us.  Each and every one of us needs it most of all moms to young kids.  As much as you love them they are exhausting.  As a mom, wife and business owner you really need to MAKE this time because day in and day out you won't just have it.  Time is a precious thing and I am really starting to value it and look at how I use my time a bit more wisely.  I think doing things for me was easy before I had kids because there was no one else to really worry about except my hubby and that was all we did was stuff for us.  Then you have kids and suddenly you feel so guilty if you want to do something for yourself for lots of reasons, lack of time, money etc.  When I used to go shopping I never felt bad at the register, now I am thinking about things my kids need or want and how the money could pay for that instead.  As much as I take pride in the fact that my kids are first in my mind always as it should be as a mother I also would think to myself that keeping myself healthy physically is a blessing to my kids so they have me here to see them grow up but mentally I need to be strong too.  Both in my opinion are important for anything in life.  Having natural childbirth with no drugs  with my son was not only physical strength but mental strength as well.  Think of anything challenging you have ever done.  You needed to be physically and mentally prepared.  That is the part that we miss when we decide to say no to ourselves all the time.  I believe in balance and making sure that we fit ourselves into that in a healthy way.  Of course I do not mean to blow your kids off and be making things all about you but there is a way that has made it easier for me to start to make this a part of my day to day.  It is what I have learned in the book Fringe Hours by Jessica Turner.  I was honored to be apart of her launch team and reading this book was so eye opening.  It showed me how I did not have to make a huge change in my life but to use those fringe hours to do something for me.  Those hours that we often just let get wasted.  Even if it is a short amount of time use it and use it wisely!  I have started to make some small changes to my day to do this and it has done wonders for how I feel.  I look now for opportunities to take advantage of time to do things that are going to boost me inside and make me feel alive again making me a better me, a better mom and a better wife.  Here are some of my fringe hours :

1. oil change and check up for the car- Changed my plan to take the kids which would have been super stressful.  I don't ask for help often but this time I did ask for help with the kids while I took the car and waited for it to be done.  I am so glad I did because it was so great to sit in the waiting room with time to read, reflect and be still.  It only took an hour but it was the best hour ever and it refueled me for the rest of the day.

2.  Just recently started using my early morning hours when I get up to pump or nurse my son to join in on a 30 day upper body challenge.  This is when I do most of my workouts.  It feels good to get a little exercise time which is only about 15 min or so but still makes me feel like I already accomplished something that day for me.  Being a healthy example is important to me, not only for myself and how I feel but for my kids to see.

3.  Going to the gym.  My husband would often say to me that when he is home as nice as it is for me to be with him and the kids that I could be taking advantage of that time no matter how long or short to do something I want to do.  I never did because of guilt.  I always felt guilty if I left and also I do love spending time with him and my kids. They are my favorite people.  But he was right and then I realized this is a fringe hour so I should use it.  Last night my husband was home and told me to go do something since he is here.  I did not have much time before my son would need me to nurse him and put him to sleep but in that hour and a half I quick threw on my gym clothes and got in a workout.  I felt so good afterwards!  I had to push myself a bit but I am so glad I did it and  as I thought my hubby took care of the kids just fine while I was gone.  He loves being a daddy and I need to let him do it more one on one without me there.  Its true that you can smother those you love.  Learn to give some space for everyone involved.

4.  Nap time- My kids don't always sleep at the same time and sometimes I may have just a little window of time before I know on will be back up again and what to do with that time?  I usually would try to get something done around the house that would of course not get done and then I felt frustrated when they were up and I knew I would not complete that task.  I have realized that I need to know how much time I have and pick something that fits into that timeframe to avoid frustration.  Little things at a time, one room rather than the whole house.  Or just the bathroom rather than the kitchen which took  too much time to do.  In that time I have chosen to sometimes realize I may only have enough time to sit and have a cup of coffee, unwind a bit.  Even if other things need done.  Just sit and use it to do something that will refresh me a bit so when the round 2 buzzer starts to go off I am ready to go in the ring.
This time has been so valuable because it has allowed me to look at my day, things that need done and evaluate my time better to see where I can make some changes.  Sometimes we are too rushed and we don't take the time to just take it all in and our wheels keep spinning but we get nowhere.  It is a work in progress but I feel like I now have a plan and one day at a time I am making more balance in my day.

As time goes on I will share some other ways that I take care of me a bit more.  I hope find joy in your fringe hours and if you have not read this book you need to!

Happy Friday the 13th….

Mom of two tip Tuesday...

So for some reason I was naive enough to think that when I had my 2nd child he would be just like Haley.  I already rode the merry go round so I would know what I was doing right?  Wrong… Lucas is proving that like I have heard before not every child is the same.  And why would I want him to be the same as Haley?  As I took the time to sit, breath and reflect (quiet time in your own mind that all moms need to TAKE the time to do) I realized that the only reason it is important to me is for me.  Not even realizing it selfishly I want this so that I know better what I am doing and to make it easier and so on and so forth.  As I really thought about my son and what I want for him and what a blessing it is to see him grow and present to us each day a little bit more of who he is I began to see that in wanting him to be just like Haley I am holding him back from being who he is meant to be.  I could see that in some of his personality already shining through he is changing me, helping me.  Its a beautiful thing these little people we are given even more than I even could have imaged.  I feel like I already knew that but now I know it to a whole new level.  Both my children are a new beginning- a reason for more time to slow down and reflection so that I can welcome change and fine tuning in my own life.  So I can be a better me a better mom.  So moms out there who feel like your failing, who feel like you are at odds with your kids each day.  Find hope in knowing that you are not alone and you are doing just fine.  If like our yucky weather today you are in the rain storm. Stop and breath.  Take a moment to let your thoughts come together and to stay focused on the top things.  Choose your battles with your kids and know what to let go of and just move on from.  This is hard for me but I can say that with just doing it with Lucas and Haley I am feeling so much better.   So lets continue to embrace the ever changing waves that come with parenthood.   Good luck and many prayers.. its a beautiful battlefield.  So keep fighting… its so worth it.

Fringe Hours launch team...

Years ago somehow I stumbled upon 2 ladies that were starting a a book club.  I have been apart of the book club for years now, reading along and hearing them share their hearts and what they took out of the book.  I never got too involved, I was more of a behind the scenes follower but that did not mean my growth was any less than those who were really involved.  I think this is true of church as well.  But to stay on topic I will not go into that now.  Maybe later I will let those thoughts free…  Both ladies who lead the book club have since written books of their own and with the new launch of her book The Fringe Hours - Making time for you I am so excited to be a part of Jessica Turners launch team to help kick start the excitement of her new book!  An advanced copy is on its way to me and as I read along with others in the launch team I am super excited to no longer be a behind the scenes follower.  I look forward to reading and sharing with you as well what I am learning and how this book is helping me to hopefully make the most of my time a bit more as a new mom of 2 kids under 2.   The book is written to help busy woman find the time we need to not do more but about being more- more creative, more fulfilled and more alive.  Follow along with me here or on Instagram.  If you are interested in reading you can go to Amazon and pre-order your copy today.  

I can't think of a better way to kick off my writing again.  Here is to the new beginnings for all of us, even the ones we do not see coming our way!  : )